A Question of Etiquette
I was faced with a serious question of propriety today. I had traveled to my brother-in-law's parents' home for Thanksgiving dinner. I had plowed through a generous amount of food (I should point out that the question deals neither with the copious quanity of food I consumed nor the rapidity at which it was inhaled) and settled in for a little football viewing.
Let me set the scene for you: in the front middle of the room is the large projection screen, to the right of the screen is a 3/4 person couch (depending on individual sizes), to the left a single chair and ottoman, and directly in front of the screen is another 3/4 person couch (in this case a 3 person since I occupy part of the couch). Also scattered behind the couch I am on are a few folding chairs.
Now let me set the players for you: As I sit down on the rear couch to view, there is another male on the couch. We sit at extreme ends of the couch knowing the we are not allowed to touch, nor put a hand down on the middle cushion lest we accidentally touch hands. We are good here. The chair is occupied by a sleeping female (not my issue for today, but I do have problems with a prime viewing location being wasted on a sleeping skirt). The right couch is occupied by my sister Michelle (also wavering dangerously close to sleeping) and my crocheting mother. Various other females pop in and out and occupy the third slot on the right couch. Many folding chairs still remain unoccupied.
In the midst of this another male enters the room. He spies the open middle seat on my couch and plops down, seriously violating my "personal bubble" without even considering the folding chairs strewn about, but again, as awkward as this is, it is not my major concern.
Approximately halfway through the game, a mass exodus occurs as people leave and vacate the right couch and the chair. The problem is, we three kings still occupy the middle couch. Additional seating is available and still we sit, cozy as sardines next to one another. Eventually, male in the middle pops up, and leaves the room. Finally, I think, we return to comfortability. No joke, two minutes later he returns, surveys the room (with its multiple open seats) and returns to sit between us on the couch.
I believe a serious breech of man etiquette was violated and made it difficult for me to concerntrate on the game. Why was this man refusing to acknowledge the personal man-bubble that each of us has, that space that most men instinctively know prevents us from standing at urinals next to one other, the one that even boys understand shouldn't be violated.
I am reminded of a King of Queens episode where Deacon, Spence and Doug enter Cooper's and take a seat at a booth. Because it is a four-seat booth, Doug and Spence sit together on the same side. Because of some situation, Deacon is forced to depart, leaving Doug and Spence sitting next to one another alone in a booth. Spence is oblivious to the obvious man etiquette issue here and continues eating until Doug asks/orders, "Are we dating? Move to the other side!"
See this is how I felt. I wanted to blurt out, "Are we going out, dude? Why don't you move to an open couch?" But I didn't want to offend him since I hardly knew him, so I just sat there feeling weird. I ate half a pumpkin pie to alleveate my concerns. While it may not seem to be the ideal situation, at least it took my mind off of the issue and as a side bonus, seeing me plow through half a pie caused the space violator to turn to his wife and say, "Let's go and we can catch the rest of the game at home."
For this reason alone I will try to always keep pumpkin pie on hand for just such emergencies. Happy Thanksgiving!
Let me set the scene for you: in the front middle of the room is the large projection screen, to the right of the screen is a 3/4 person couch (depending on individual sizes), to the left a single chair and ottoman, and directly in front of the screen is another 3/4 person couch (in this case a 3 person since I occupy part of the couch). Also scattered behind the couch I am on are a few folding chairs.
Now let me set the players for you: As I sit down on the rear couch to view, there is another male on the couch. We sit at extreme ends of the couch knowing the we are not allowed to touch, nor put a hand down on the middle cushion lest we accidentally touch hands. We are good here. The chair is occupied by a sleeping female (not my issue for today, but I do have problems with a prime viewing location being wasted on a sleeping skirt). The right couch is occupied by my sister Michelle (also wavering dangerously close to sleeping) and my crocheting mother. Various other females pop in and out and occupy the third slot on the right couch. Many folding chairs still remain unoccupied.
In the midst of this another male enters the room. He spies the open middle seat on my couch and plops down, seriously violating my "personal bubble" without even considering the folding chairs strewn about, but again, as awkward as this is, it is not my major concern.
Approximately halfway through the game, a mass exodus occurs as people leave and vacate the right couch and the chair. The problem is, we three kings still occupy the middle couch. Additional seating is available and still we sit, cozy as sardines next to one another. Eventually, male in the middle pops up, and leaves the room. Finally, I think, we return to comfortability. No joke, two minutes later he returns, surveys the room (with its multiple open seats) and returns to sit between us on the couch.
I believe a serious breech of man etiquette was violated and made it difficult for me to concerntrate on the game. Why was this man refusing to acknowledge the personal man-bubble that each of us has, that space that most men instinctively know prevents us from standing at urinals next to one other, the one that even boys understand shouldn't be violated.
I am reminded of a King of Queens episode where Deacon, Spence and Doug enter Cooper's and take a seat at a booth. Because it is a four-seat booth, Doug and Spence sit together on the same side. Because of some situation, Deacon is forced to depart, leaving Doug and Spence sitting next to one another alone in a booth. Spence is oblivious to the obvious man etiquette issue here and continues eating until Doug asks/orders, "Are we dating? Move to the other side!"
See this is how I felt. I wanted to blurt out, "Are we going out, dude? Why don't you move to an open couch?" But I didn't want to offend him since I hardly knew him, so I just sat there feeling weird. I ate half a pumpkin pie to alleveate my concerns. While it may not seem to be the ideal situation, at least it took my mind off of the issue and as a side bonus, seeing me plow through half a pie caused the space violator to turn to his wife and say, "Let's go and we can catch the rest of the game at home."
For this reason alone I will try to always keep pumpkin pie on hand for just such emergencies. Happy Thanksgiving!
Great read, Little Dave!
You crack me up.
DGF
Posted by
David G. Fish |
5:32 AM
Kind words ... thank you.
Posted by
Dave Smith |
5:54 AM
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