This Time It's Personal ... I Guess
Michael Jordan started this whole thing you know. He retired, then a couple of years later, decided that he wasn't quite finished. Of course, the rumors were that he "retired" (that is, "was suspended") because of his infamous gambling problem. I seriously doubt it. After all, the NBA sort of "hung its collective hat" on his Royal Airness. I think if Jordan had said, "From now on, during games we should have 3-4 hyenas running around on the court" the league would have implemented the rule change immediately. I mean seriously, he had that whole if-I-miss-a-shot-and-frown-immediately-the referees-will-call-a-foul-on-the-closest-player-to-me rule added after his third year in the league.
Anyway, he really ended up being a pathetic baseball player so, surprise, he came out of retirement and was good again. After a few years, he retired again only to unretire once again to give us the sad picture of Michael's final days in a Wizards uniform.
The effect was frightening. All over the place, celebrities insisted that "If Michael can unretire, so can I" and we had unretirements all over the place with varied levels of success. Magic Johnson decided to make a comeback, even after hosting a very successful 3-night talk show. George Foreman came out of retirement and won the heavyweight championship of the world, but stole our hearts with the invention of the George Foreman Grill (By the way, a side note: I think we all understand that someone else invented the grill and said, "Hey, who is a huge schill that we could get to endorse this?" But it makes me wonder, is there some guy out there in America quietly cursing George Foreman because he invented it, but George is taking all the credit simply because the Murray Dweddlebom Grill just didn't have market appeal?)
But yesterday we reached the pinnacle, the day that I believe requires that we, with one voice cry out, "Stop the madness!" (that reminds me, I hope Susan Powter never comes out of retirement). While perusing some news items of the day I came across an intriguing, yet concerning story: ROCKY IS COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT. 30 years after Sylvester Stallone first doned the gloves for Rocky he has signed on to write and star in the sixth Rocky movie, tenatively titled Rocky Balboa. Seriously, outside of Stallone, his parents, and Burt Young, who is demanding for this movie to be made? Don't get me wrong, Rocky has reached iconic status in our culture and for me personally has provided many years of memories.
Rocky I gave us a hero for the common man. A guy who shouldn't have been where he was, but embraced the moment and fought the fight of his life, only to come up just short. Interesting side note obtained at IMDB: an alternate ending for the movie included Apollo Creed's fans carrying him out of the ring on their shoulders and Rocky's fans doing the same. Unfortunately the film was so budget restricted that they couldn't afford enough extras to pull it off and, get this, some of the extras began punching Stallone and Carl Weathers. What was going on? Why would extras in a movie suddenly turn on the stars of the movie and begin pummeling them with their fists? Very odd.
Rocky II gave us all the rematch we craved. After all, Rocky was jobbed in the first movie, he should have won ... yes, at some point, reality and fantasy began to cloud in my young mind.
As a for instance, at the premiere of Rocky III, I went to the movie with Wendy Putnam. Man, she was beautiful. To this day, whenever the movie shows up on TNT every other week, I get a little misty thinking about what a magical date that was with Wendy. In addition to the romantic possibilities with Wendy, Rocky III introduced us to the sheer entertainment quality of two legends, Mr. T as Clubber Lang and Hulk Hogan as Thunderlips (that name ... genius)
Rocky IV gave us what we wanted as a nation, a way to beat the evil Soviet empire. Does anyone else find it ironic that the Berlin wall came down just a short time after those famous words were uttered, "If I can change ... and yous can change ... we can all change!"
Rocky V, I am in agreement with ESPN.com columnist Bill Simmons on this, never happened.
Has America been clamouring for details as to what has happened to Rocky over the years. Are we ready for a 60 year-old Rocky? Are we prepared for a story that borders on the asinine? The actual storyline described in the news story I read said:
Anyway, he really ended up being a pathetic baseball player so, surprise, he came out of retirement and was good again. After a few years, he retired again only to unretire once again to give us the sad picture of Michael's final days in a Wizards uniform.
The effect was frightening. All over the place, celebrities insisted that "If Michael can unretire, so can I" and we had unretirements all over the place with varied levels of success. Magic Johnson decided to make a comeback, even after hosting a very successful 3-night talk show. George Foreman came out of retirement and won the heavyweight championship of the world, but stole our hearts with the invention of the George Foreman Grill (By the way, a side note: I think we all understand that someone else invented the grill and said, "Hey, who is a huge schill that we could get to endorse this?" But it makes me wonder, is there some guy out there in America quietly cursing George Foreman because he invented it, but George is taking all the credit simply because the Murray Dweddlebom Grill just didn't have market appeal?)
But yesterday we reached the pinnacle, the day that I believe requires that we, with one voice cry out, "Stop the madness!" (that reminds me, I hope Susan Powter never comes out of retirement). While perusing some news items of the day I came across an intriguing, yet concerning story: ROCKY IS COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT. 30 years after Sylvester Stallone first doned the gloves for Rocky he has signed on to write and star in the sixth Rocky movie, tenatively titled Rocky Balboa. Seriously, outside of Stallone, his parents, and Burt Young, who is demanding for this movie to be made? Don't get me wrong, Rocky has reached iconic status in our culture and for me personally has provided many years of memories.
Rocky I gave us a hero for the common man. A guy who shouldn't have been where he was, but embraced the moment and fought the fight of his life, only to come up just short. Interesting side note obtained at IMDB: an alternate ending for the movie included Apollo Creed's fans carrying him out of the ring on their shoulders and Rocky's fans doing the same. Unfortunately the film was so budget restricted that they couldn't afford enough extras to pull it off and, get this, some of the extras began punching Stallone and Carl Weathers. What was going on? Why would extras in a movie suddenly turn on the stars of the movie and begin pummeling them with their fists? Very odd.
Rocky II gave us all the rematch we craved. After all, Rocky was jobbed in the first movie, he should have won ... yes, at some point, reality and fantasy began to cloud in my young mind.
As a for instance, at the premiere of Rocky III, I went to the movie with Wendy Putnam. Man, she was beautiful. To this day, whenever the movie shows up on TNT every other week, I get a little misty thinking about what a magical date that was with Wendy. In addition to the romantic possibilities with Wendy, Rocky III introduced us to the sheer entertainment quality of two legends, Mr. T as Clubber Lang and Hulk Hogan as Thunderlips (that name ... genius)
Rocky IV gave us what we wanted as a nation, a way to beat the evil Soviet empire. Does anyone else find it ironic that the Berlin wall came down just a short time after those famous words were uttered, "If I can change ... and yous can change ... we can all change!"
Rocky V, I am in agreement with ESPN.com columnist Bill Simmons on this, never happened.
Has America been clamouring for details as to what has happened to Rocky over the years. Are we ready for a 60 year-old Rocky? Are we prepared for a story that borders on the asinine? The actual storyline described in the news story I read said:
Stallone will play the Philadelphia boxer who is lured out of a long retirement to fight a championship bout while dealing with personal tragedy outside the ring.
"Rocky Balboa is about everybody who feels they want to participate in the race of life, rather than be a bystander. You're never too old to climb a mountain, if that's your desire," Stallone said in a statement.
I remember the immortal Burgess Merideth, playing the role of Mickey, telling Rocky in the third installment that he couldn't fight Clubber Lang because he was too old and that the beating Apollo gave him should have made him retire then. What would Mickey say now? Of course, had he not come back then, we would have missed his legendary victory over the same Clubber Lang, not to mention one of the most awkward man-hugs in cinematic history after Rocky and Apollo's race on the beach.
You see why I am so conflicted? One of the icons of my youth wants to go one more time and, wishing to recapture the joy of my youth, something inside of me wants to see it. However, a larger part of me thinks, "This will be sad and unfortunately comical." Trust me, it is not out of concern for a tarnishing of Sly Stallone's image. That happened long ago with the movie Oscar and was confirmed with Stop, or My Mom will Shoot!
Well, when all is said and done, at least he isn't making a fourth Rambo movie ... uh, oh!
It's scary how much thought was put into this post.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:21 PM
True greatness is rarely appreciated in its own time ...
Posted by
Dave Smith |
9:24 AM
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